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How to Confront Someone as a Non Confrontational Person

How to confront someone

If you are a Non-Confrontational person, it may be difficult to confront someone about an issue that you have with them. This may lead to you being stepped all over and taken advantage of because of your struggle of being confrontational.

People who are confrontational tend to not be scared of a fight or some kind of issue. They don’t mind the unknown result after the confrontation, but someone who hates confrontation is worried about the fight and would want to avoid it.

So how do you confront someone if you are a non confrontational person?

How to confront someone as a non confrontational person

1. Understand the person

Understand who your audience is. Does this person tend to get angry quickly? Is this person on the sensitive side? Does this person tend to misunderstand others or are they empathetic?

It is very important to understand your audience because that will determine how you approach them. If they are empathetic, you should have no problem having a sound conversation with them to communicate your feelings, but if they tend to be explosive, then your approach may need to be a lot more gentle.

2. Come up with a plan

After you figure out your audience and who you are confronting, come up with a plan to approach it in the best way possible. If they get easily offended, maybe be careful about your words to not sound like they are the bad guy so you can just get your point across.

3. Remember, don’t apologize for your experience

As a non-confrontational person, you may feel the need to apologize for feeling the way you do, but your experiences are also valid. It may not be their intention, but your experience is valid and you should not overlook that.

4. Express empathy

To avoid conflict, avoid attacking someone for what they did to you. Expressing empathy and listening to their point of view will subdue the conflict and they are more likely to be open to listen to your side if they are heard.

Most people just want to be heard at the end of the day and are willing to hear others if they are heard themselves.

5. Remember your goal

First of all, have a goal. Do not go into a confrontation without a goal. The goal can be to just let them be aware of how they make you feel, or the goal is to stop the behavior. If you do not go into the confrontation with a goal, you may not know what you want to hear and both of you may get frustrated.


Confrontation is not easy, but because unpleasant feelings are what most non-confrontational people worry about, make sure that the confrontation is more like a conversation and an exchange of experiences rather than an attack. People will be more at ease if they don’t feel like they are being attacked. Therefore avoiding an unpleasant exchange.


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