top of page

How to Regulate Our Thoughts and Emotions

Emotions are a big part of our lives. Some of us tend to try to shut out emotions because they believe it hinders our logical mind. Some people live their emotions to the point where they believe that their emotion equates to reality. Some people just believe that if they feel something, it must be the truth about a situation.

But emotions are not reality. Just because you feel something doesn’t mean that it is exactly what is happening around you.

For example, you hear that two people were talking about you and how annoying you are.

From there, you can react three different ways:

  1. You may get angry that they are bad people that are going around talking about you to everyone.

  2. Or maybe you feel ashamed and embarrassed. You start to believe that everyone thinks you’re annoying and nobody really likes your personality.

  3. You could react by being sad. You may feel that you have no true friends, everyone is fake and you are alone in this world.

Whichever reaction that you end up having, there is a tendency to believe that the first immediate thought in your head is your reality.

And it will continue to be your reality until you learn that emotions are not reality.

A lot of the emotional reactions that happen in your mind derive from fear and insecurities. When you react and your body is going through a physical reaction to your emotion, your mind is immediately triggered by your fears and insecurities, therefore creating a reality that you fear, but not the reality that actually is. Your reaction becomes a reflection of your fears and insecurities.

So how can we regulate our thoughts and emotions in times like these?

  1. When you hear news that you are reacting negatively to, feel your emotions. When you feel scared or angry, your heart may run faster and your hands may get sweater. Let it happen. Take deep breaths and embrace the physical reactions your body is going through. You are human. It is natural to feel and react (safely). Don’t fight it.

  2. Take the time to self soothe. This can mean, take some slow breaths, take a walk, sing some karaoke. Whatever it takes to get your mind to a calmer place. It is harder to fully see a situation when we are clouded by our emotions.

  3. Take time to reflect. In this situation, what kind of people are involved, are these people I can sit down and have a conversation of clarification with?

  4. Remind yourself that everything will be okay. At the end of the day, you will be okay, and remind yourself that you will get through this.


Emotions are a scary experience to feel. A lot of us are not taught how to deal with our emotions. We tend to block them out of panic because of our lack of understanding of our emotions. Take your time, your emotions are not reality.


bottom of page